Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Anything is Possible: Part 2

I have said that life is a series of annoyances punctuated by the ocassional spell of happiness. The hard part of life then, is to dwell on these happy parts and try to let them spill over into the mundane and annoying everyday trials and tribulations.

Today, August 22nd, 2012, Im fairly sure is the greatest day in my life. I met someone over a month ago, and while I was immediately drawn to her, it took a fair bit of time and effort to get her to go out with me. Sometimes the things you want the most are the hardest to get, but usually they are also the most satisfying. I have no idea what is going to happen tomorrow, or the next day, or a week or a month or a year from now - but I cant dwell on that. You have to live in the present, and try to enjoy the great moments as much as possible.

We have gone out a few times, and today after I dropped her off back at her place in the late afternoon/early evening, I drove home sort of in a dream like daze. Is this really happening? Is it possible that I am actually this lucky? Do I dare contemplate the consequences of this, or how this all turns out given my spotty luck in the past and all the mistakes I have made, and bad beats I have been dealt?

No, I wasnt going to do that, so I drove down by the waterfront here in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. I sat down in the grass not far from the shoreline. The sun was low in the sky, and there were a lots of people out enjoying a spectacular, dare I say perfect, late summer evening. Kids were running around playing, a guy was snoozing in a lawnchair, couples were laying out on blankets chatting and laughing, there was a small group of people playing music - just an acoustic guitar, some bongos, and two girls singing. The breeze was light, and I could hear the water lapping at the shore. The sun moved closer to the horizon - an epic, skyspanning vista of steel and concrete - Manhattan.

No, I was here just to enjoy the moment. To really let it sink in. I just sat there and tried to think how I got to this point. Part of it was planned, a lot of it was pure luck, and even given the mistakes I made in the past, and know I will make in the future, I dont regret any of it. I cant dwell on those things. If my life at this point in time is what it is, and this is all real, how could I? I could not possibly be any happier right now. Sure there are things I wish were different. Things I wish I could change. But even given all that, it seems silly to dwell on them.

Im about to go out now with some good friends, have a great meal, and then let the night take us where it may. I dont know what the future holds, and Im not worried about it one bit, because right now everything seems to good too be true, I would even dare say perfect, and Im going to try to make this fleeting feeling last for as long as possible.


md said...

Great to hear Chronic, enjoy it!

We're usually more concerned about correcting what isn't perfect in our lives that we lose sight of things that can bring us happiness in the moment. It's hard to break the habit (I haven't been able to).

Worrying about the future is usually us just our imaginations creating stories; fears really, driven by "what-ifs" that generally do nothing but bring us down at our high points that stem from our disbelief that good moments like the one you're experiencing can last as long as we want them to (forever).

The truth is, you have no idea what will happen next... ever. So why even let your mind wander there? Or for that matter, why let it focus on anything other than right now? Especially when "right now" seems to be as close to perfect as life can get.

So, like I said, enjoy it.

umo said...

Winding up at amazing places in time and space is often overlooked, it can take somebody else to point it out before you see it. I'm glad you got the conscious awareness of it yourself. New York is full of magic moments, Vegas has it's fair share too. Just ask Prince Harry.

md said...


shadow nex said...

Glad to hear it chronic, everyone deserves to find someone. I hope your luck keeps on rolling, best wishes shadow.