Friday, September 5, 2008

Camo Spider 2008-2008

Sometimes, a person or creature comes into our life and we never look at the world the same way again. Such was the case with Camo Spider, a rare British species of spider only (un)seen during the wee hours of the night by intrepid entemologists, and people making Halo videos at 3am, like Bender, who will tell the story of Camo Spider to you all.

By Umopapisdnpuaq

"Well the tale of Camo Spider began perhaps a few days back. It may have been a forshadowing but there was a regular kind of black spider high up on the white wall but it ran off by the time I'd gotten a capturing tin. I tend to capture/release rather than squash. I didn't see that spider again but knew he was there somewhere. Then a couple of days later I caught a glimpse of something on a brown box. The only reason I noticed it was because it was on the edge of two sides and from my angle I saw it's body raised up away from the edge of the box. It was though beautifully camoflaged on the box. This made capture tough. It knew my tin couldn't capture if it was on a corner and any splat would be mostly ineffective too. It was smart. Touche... I figured for a while and tried to knock it off the box to somewhere I could get at it. But the speed/agility/mirror's-edge-trailers-it-had-been-watching allowed it to skip away and flip itself into camo mode somewhere and I couldnt catch sight of it. So the light stayed on, I stayed with my feet off the floor and a mutual wait out ensued. I had to give Camo Spider his credit and had duly named him Camo Spider. The next morning I awoke to find myself cocooned in a tight sleeping bag of silk. This was an unfortunate devlopment, but the lack of a face-hugging-spider-baby-infestation made me actually decide to shake Camo Spider by the hand and if possible, usher him out into the fruitful garden full of nice food and plentiful arachnid habitat. But no sign of him still. And then... then - squish. What did I expect from a Camo Spider. In a most unfortunate turn of events, one of my feet tragically met with Camo Spider as he lurked around, sneaking his way Splinter Cell style, probably with heat vision on. He was completely cloaked. Maybe he was sleeping. Who knows. But Camo Spider was no more. It was a sad moment, but Camo Spider lives on in my memory."

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We shall all remember the arachnid known as Camo Spider. May he rest invisibly in peace.

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Many thanks for your condolences.

There will be a memorial service on Sunday at 2pm. Where a roll call of all the spiders who have so far perished in my room will be read out (starting with Mr. Squishy).

At this time i'd like to request no more flowers get sent to the site of this tragic accident, as some of them are beginning to take root in the carpet.

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